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As a speaker on female leaders and visibility, people expect me to be comfortable in the spotlight. I probably look like I am.
It comes as a surprise to many when I unpack the process of nerves I go through every time I have a big speech coming up.
Here are some of the things I experience:
Yes, I experience these things.
When I tell other female leaders this, they’re often reassured and emboldened.
They understand that I’m scared, they see that I have multiple opportunities to back away from the spotlight - and yet I get up and give it a damn good shot anyway.
The truth is:
We don’t need to feel confident to get our voices heard.
We don’t need to wait until we feel comfortable to speak up in a meeting, to put ourselves forward for a speaking gig, to post a video stating our vision.
We don’t need to wait, in fact we mustn’t wait.
It’s the very act of bravely flinging yourself at something scary that gets you ready to do it.
You don’t need to feel confident and you don’t need to feel ready.
I see this time and again with women’s leadership programmes I run. Don’t think you can speak with gravitas? – Get up and do it. Don’t think you’ve got a vision? – Get up and have a go. Don’t think you could deliver a kick-ass speech at the House of Commons? – You may just prove yourself wrong.
Last week I was at the POWERful Women Energy Conference hearing how only 7% of board seats in the Oil & Gas industry are held by women. The view from other industries isn’t much rosier.
How many more women could we see in positions of visibility if we’re simply more willing to put ourselves forward for opportunities? If we didn’t let the nerves make our decisions about whether we speak at that event, but said ‘yes’, before we feel ready.
We have to realise that our nerves around public speaking – and other acts of visibility – aren’t a good reason to avoid speaking up. If we don’t, we’re not doing our part to shift these numbers.
The UK’s leading inspiring speaking expert & best-selling author. Sarah Lloyd-Hughes is a multiple-award winning public speaking coach, founder of Ginger Training & Coaching and author of “How to be Brilliant at Public Speaking” (Pearson).
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